Hey, we all want to do great work, right?  I mean, why work hard unless whatever you produce is something you’re really proud of?  I’m definitely on board with that.  

Setting Ultra High Standards Can Get Out Of Hand

The problem is that setting high standards for ourselves can get out of hand for some of us.  

Take me for example.  Punctuality has always been important to me.  I see it as a sign of respect for another person’s time.  And I think most people would agree it sets a good impression to arrive on time for meetings and other events.  

But when you’re routinely arriving over a half hour early for everything it starts to create problems.  For example, when I was in high school, I lived less than 4 miles from my school.  But the farther I got in school, the earlier I felt like I needed to arrive. Eventually, I was arriving over an hour early.  Like it was me and the janitor chillin’ in the hallway. This persisted into college, when I would get to my lectures before the previous lecture was even through.  It was a bit much.

Here’s The Problem With Ultra High Standards

So this excessively high standard I’d set for myself about punctuality created three problems.  

Missing Out

One is that I missed out on lots of other things because I felt like I had to be places early….no lunches with friends between classes, no quick stops at office hours, and (the worst!) no mid-day naps.  I mean, I really missed out.  

Embarrassment

The second problem was that I sometimes got to things embarrassingly early.  Like, one time, I went to my advisor’s office to register for classes and I was so early that his calendar hadn’t reminded him I was coming, so he had no idea who I was or what I needed.  It was embarrassing.  

Anxiety

And third…I was hella anxious.  Like all the time.

So setting high standards is good.  Excessively high standards starts to create problems.  In the spirit of helping you tell the difference, here are 10 signs that you’ve crossed the line into maladaptive perfectionism (psst — no shame, that’s definitely where I was a decade ago).  If you relate to these, you’ll want to make sure you grab this week’s PDF to start figuring out the healthier alternatives.  

10 Signs of Maladpative Perfectionism 

1. The goals you set are constantly difficult or even impossible to achieve.  Essentially, your goal is perfection always, in all ways (channeling my inner Ryan Serhant here…).
2. If you’re honest with yourself, the goals you set are based on other people’s expectations, not what’s important to you.  
3. You believe that you’re only as good as the things you do (how high your grades are, how clean your countertops are, how much your boss praises your work).  
4. The only thing that matters is the end result, the product, the grade, the outcome.  There is zero concern about the process it takes to get there or anything that might affect the end result.
5. You avoid trying new things and having new experiences because you’re afraid of making mistakes and embarrassing yourself.  
6. You are terrified of not reaching your goals and of making mistakes along the way.
7. When you reach your goal, you spend almost no time praising yourself.  Success doesn’t actually feel good.
8. When you reach your goal, you set an even more outlandish goal.  
9. When you don’t reach your goal, you take the setback as an indication that you are a failure.
10. You believe that you have to be perfect or you won’t be liked.  (Hey, if this is you, check out this post)

How to Stop This Overwhelming, Stressful Pattern

If you raised your hand to some of these indicators, grab this PDF to practice turning these unhealthy signs into healthier alternatives.  I don’t know about you, but when I was first getting started on this self-improvement journey, I knew the way I was doing things wasn’t working, but I literally had no idea what the alternative was.  So if you can relate, this PDF is for you.