3 Things That Told Me It Was Time to Resign from My Job
Recently, I’ve been writing to you about burnout. We talked about this concept I invented called “lifestyle burnout” and I gave you 44 signs you might be experiencing lifestyle burnout. I also told you 3 things I personally use to combat lifestyle burnout and 7 ways to fix it.
Over the past year, I was quickly on my way to burnout, and I identified my job as the culprit. This isn’t unusual — burnout is very commonly associated with our jobs. In fact, some people argue burnout is only applicable to jobs. I disagree with that last point, but workplace burnout is definitely real, and I knew I was headed in that direction.
Today, I’m unveiling three things that told me it was time to resign from my job. You might be able to relate, especially if you’re dealing with the workplace version of burnout.
How My Burnout Developed
There are certain professions where the risk for burnout is extremely high — nurses, teachers, physicians, and social workers in the public sector are some that come to mind. Psychologists aren’t often on that list because of some of the privileges we have that help us manage the stress. But I knew I was headed there.
And the factors making me burn out aren’t what you’d think. It wasn’t handling the emotions that come with supporting people who are struggling day after day or even managing crises and suicidality. It wasn’t my clients. It wasn’t the long hours I work. It wasn’t the intellectual challenge. It wasn’t even finagling insurance companies. It wasn’t my actual job that was burning me out. In fact, I loved all that. I loved learning from my clients, watching them grow, researching about their problems, collaborating with other mental health providers, and growing into a type of psychologist I never planned to be. All of that was extremely positive.
It was none of the things you’d think. It was everything else. It was my relationships with my coworkers. It was feeling unappreciated. It was unresolved misunderstandings. It was poor communication. It was all the BS that surrounded my actual job. And even though those particular frustrations had been piling up for years, there were three things that told me it was time to resign. It wasn’t like there was any major event that sealed the deal. It was just time to pull the trigger. I bet you’ll relate to these signs, too. Let’s do it.
3 Things That Told Me It Was Time to Resign from My Job
1. I was living for the weekends.
I had a countdown to Friday at 5pm. I lived for the weekends. But by the time the weekend got here, I was already disappointed because I knew I had to go back to work so soon. I couldn’t enjoy Sundays because all I could focus on was having to go back to work the next day. #smonday
My job was sapping my spirit from me. I lost my purpose and my enthusiasm for what I do. I showed up every day and worked as hard as I always had, but I was always hoping for a better day, knowing there wasn’t one as long as I was at this job.
If you find yourself living for the weekends, only to dread going back to work on Monday, you might be on your way to burnout.
2. My goals weren’t consistent with my company’s goals.
My values as a clinician were different than the values of the company I worked for. My approach to treatment was different than theirs, and my goals were different. When I was hired (which was right out of graduate school), I was already as far as I could advance in the company, so there were no opportunities for growth. In short: I felt stifled. I couldn’t go anywhere, there was no one to learn from or shape me into a better clinician, and I wasn’t ethically comfortable with some of the assignments I was given.
If you’re constantly feeling like there’s a conflict between your personal ethics and goals and your company’s ethics and goals, you might be on your way to burnout.
3. I knew in my heart I was meant for more.
I knew a life of doing therapy 40 hours a week, working for someone else, and “playing the game” wasn’t supposed to be my story. I wanted more. I didn’t want to already be at the top of my game straight out of graduate school. I wanted bigger, better, more thrilling opportunities. I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny. I knew I couldn’t get there if I stayed in that job.
If you know in your heart your job is holding you back from reaching your potential, you might be on your way to burnout.
Risks Of Resigning From My Job
It was a big risk to resign from my job. I knew it would cost me my relationships with some important people in my life…and it was a huge risk financially. And, if I’m honest, those risks are what kept me from doing it years ago. But after a few years of calculating the risks and weighing the pros and cons, the scale finally tipped in favor of resigning. And I took the opportunity when it came. I don’t advise recklessly resigning from your job just because it sucks…calculate the risks and benefits, but make sure you put your emotional health and future fulfillment into the calculation. Remember, some of the things we regret most often involve not taking calculated risks when we have the opportunity, not pursuing our potential, and not going after our dream jobs. So find a way to do it.
Until then, if you’re noticing signs of workplace burnout or lifestyle burnout, make sure you check out my post on 7 Ways to Fix Burnout Now for some practical strategies to prevent and overcome burnout.
And finally, if you’re already full steam into burnout, chances are you’re anxious and find yourself caught in an anxious downward spiral. I’ve definitely been there. Consider taking my free 5-week email course, where I’ll walk you through the 3 things that make our feelings spiral out of control and step-by-step how to reverse that pattern. Sign up here.
P.S. If you skimmed, here’s the summary: 3 things told me it was time to resign from my job, and it wasn’t the things you’d think for a psychologist. If you’re experiencing lifestyle burnout or workplace burnout, you might relate to these things.
P.P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
