Differences Between Social Anxiety & Introversion
How do you know if you have social anxiety or if you’re introverted?
Do you prefer to stay home by yourself because you just like that life better…or because you’re scared of a different life…or both…or neither?
If you consult the internet, you’ll probably just get a confusing mish-mash of interesting but not really accurate information.
But the distinction is important because introversion is just a personality trait like any other, so we’ll embrace its pros and cons, whereas social anxiety is super treatable with cognitive-behavioral therapy.
So I’m here to break it down.
Here are 4 of the main differences between social anxiety and introversion.
True Introversion Is Different Than What You Think
First, we need to have a chat about introversion.
There are a lot of misconceptions about what introversion is.
Scott Barry Kaufman does a really nice job in this article of explaining the difference between the common conceptualization of introversion versus the reality of what the research tells us about this personality dimension.
In short, we think of introverted people as folks who are socially withdrawn, but actually they are folks who are less overtly enthusiastic (sociable, friendly, with strong positive emotions) and less assertive (less talkative or persuasive, less likely to be leaders) than people who are extraverted.
This can manifest as being socially withdrawn, but not necessarily.
According to the research, introversion is more about enthusiasm and assertiveness than how much time you want to spend with other people.
Definitely read Scott Barry Kaufman’s article for a really fascinating take on what’s different between what we think of as introversion and what’s actually true about introversion.
What Is Social Anxiety
Social anxiety is a fear of social situations…especially when you think you might be scrutinized.
Things like having conversations, meeting people, being watched while you’re doing something that takes concentration, and giving a presentation can all cause anxiety.
People with social anxiety become afraid that they’re gonna be judged.
They’re afraid of being seen as anxious or crazy or stupid or inadequate or unprofessional or incompetent.
And even though they really really want to make a good impression on people, they’re often afraid they can’t impress other people and frequently believe they’re not good enough.
They become really sensitive to criticism and can interpret pretty benign comments (they say: “that was a decent presentation”) as critical (you hear: “that was terrible”).
Social Anxiety & Introversion Are Related
There’s a lot of research suggesting that social anxiety and introversion are related.
And it’s interesting because self-esteem seems to connect these two concepts.
So introverts who have lower self-esteem are more likely to develop social anxiety than introverts who have higher self-esteem (and they’re more likely to develop social anxiety than extraverts, regardless of how high their self-esteem is).
But There Are Also Differences Between Social Anxiety & Being Introverted
So we know social anxiety and introversion are related, but they’re also distinct.
Being introverted doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re anxious in social situations.
And being anxious in social situations doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re introverted.
Although both can be true.
Let’s dive into 4 differences between social anxiety and introversion.
1. People with social anxiety and people who are introverted avoid social interactions for different reasons.
Introverts avoid social interactions because they’re simply not rewarding.
The reward circuit in their brains (the part that makes you want to squeeze puppies and play slot machines) just doesn’t light up very much when they’re around people, so it’s not something they’re inherently driven to do.
They’ll avoid social situations because they just aren’t interesting.
But people who have social anxiety avoid social interactions for a different reason.
A person with social anxiety who isn’t introverted will often find social interactions with close people they trust as rewarding, so we know the reason they avoid social interactions isn’t because their brains aren’t firing the reward circuit.
Instead, they avoid social situations because they fear being judged or scrutinized or are afraid of making a mistake.
2. People with social anxiety and people who are introverted find social interactions less rewarding for different reasons.
As I mentioned above, introverts find social interactions less rewarding because social situations just don’t activate their brains’ reward circuits.
But for people with social anxiety, social interactions are less rewarding because instead of activating the brain’s reward circuit, they actually activate the brain’s fear circuit.
This creates fear in social situations instead of pleasure and reward.
3. People with social anxiety and people who are introverted are focused on different things in social interactions.
In social situations, an activated fear circuit makes people with social anxiety focus on making a good impression and watching really carefully for any signs that other people don’t like them.
They’re trying to think of interesting things to say while also trying to conceal how anxious they are.
But introverts without social anxiety aren’t really focused on any of that…they’re just participating in a somewhat distant way.
4. People with social anxiety and people who are introverted have different emotional experiences.
People with social anxiety tend to have a fairly negative emotional experience.
They’re wrapped up in fear and anxiety and sometimes panic and are highly sensitive to criticism and rejection.
Introverts don’t really have those strong emotions.
They’re somewhat flat in their emotional experience — they don’t tend to show their feelings, even when they’re happy, and they don’t laugh a lot or have much enthusiasm.
There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just a biological difference.
The Main Difference Between Introverts & People with Social Anxiety
It’s true that people with social anxiety and introverts have a lot in common.
Introverts don’t tend to make friends easily, and they can be hard to get to know because they prefer to keep others at a distance and don’t often reveal much about themselves…just because it’s not rewarding to do those things.
The same kinds of outcomes can happen to people with social anxiety, but for a different reason.
They do the same things where they avoid making friends, keep others at a distance, and don’t reveal much about themselves…but they do it because they’re afraid that if people knew them or if they tried to connect with people, it’d be discovered that they’re inadequate.
The difference between introverts and people with social anxiety comes down to a lack of excitement versus the presence of fear.
By the way, if you’re struggling with social anxiety (regardless of whether you are also an introvert or not), please know that social anxiety is treatable.
You might be afraid in social situations right now, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is proven to treat social anxiety.
If you’re looking to get your feet wet, start with my free 5-day email course to reverse the anxiety spiral. Get in here:
Next week, we’re making an abrupt shift to another topic: Getting motivated after work.
You get up early, wrangle your children, work all day, feed your family and get everyone settled…and then there’s still work to be done.
But you’re just kaput by that time.
How can you get motivated? I’ve got 5 tips for you next week. Don’t miss it.
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Finch
P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
