Not your actual dogs, but your metaphorical dogs. Do you feel like you’re running all the time but not actually getting anywhere? Do you need a break? I’ve got a tip for you, complete with a downloadable PDF to make it actionable!
Life is fast-paced and chaotic and overwhelming. I hear you. And if you’re anything like me, you’ve got multiple to-do lists…some on actual paper, some in your head, some on the back of your hand. There’s so much to keep track of.
And to-do lists are great. They keep us on track, they help us get organized, and they give us direction and focus. But I want to introduce you to the concept of having two different types of to-do lists.
One to-do list is for your good days….days you wake up with lots of energy, days you feel on top of things, days you feel your best. This to-do list includes things like getting your chores done, doing a little extra at work or around the house, spending a little extra time with your loved ones, exercising, meal prepping, and all the other ambitious things we feel like we oughta be doing. That’s the to-do list you’re familiar with.
The other to-do list is new. This to-do list is for hard days….days when it’s hard to get up, days when you don’t feel well, days when you’re run down. This to-do list includes things like putting on pants, combing your hair, spending some time reading, stretching, and heating up leftovers.
I can already hear you objecting. “Hayden, if I give myself one of those to-do lists, I’d be a lazy slob and nothing would ever get done.”
I hear your fear. But what do you tell a child who has already decided they don’t like broccoli even though they’ve never tried it? “Try it first.”
This new to-do list allows you to set different expectations based on your state on any given day. And just like it’s not helpful to have too many days where we stick to the “hard days to-do list,” it’s equally unhelpful to have too many days where we stick to the “good days to-do list.” When we push ourselves to grind all the time, without allowing ourselves grace for hard days, we burn out and become irritable and impatient. We snap at our kids, spouses, and coworkers….we drink too much….and we criticize ourselves.
Try it first. Commit to trying this for a single week and then reassess whether your prediction about “nothing would never get done” comes true. Here’s a download to help you get started!
Next week, I’ve got the number one question you need to be asking yourself. Don’t miss it.
Dr. Finch
P.S. If you skipped to the end, here’s the meat of it: Ambitious to-do lists create irritability and burnout. Create an ambitious to-do list and a less-ambitious to-do list. Snag the download to get started.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, who is focused on helping you master your mental health.
