I’ve given it a lot of thought, and here’s what I would wish for.  

My First Wish

My first wish would be that people knew the things we’re told to take seriously really aren’t what life is about.  We’re told to worry about our body shape, how prestigious our jobs are, how much money we make, how nice our furniture is, how expensive our cars are.  I mean, we literally invented the term “curb appeal” to send the message that that’s something we’re supposed to care about.  

And because we’re told these things are important from the very first day of life, we believe they are.  We don’t even question it most of the time. But the reality is that we’ve got it all wrong.  

A group of experts assess world happiness each year in the World Happiness Report, and through their data they’ve determined there are six factors that contribute to happiness: income, healthy life expectancy (i.e., not just the number of years you live, but the number of years you live a reasonably healthy life), how much support you feel you have, freedom, trust (i.e., absence of corruption in government), and generosity. 

Notice what’s not on the list: curb appeal.

Also not on the list: how I look in skinny jeans.  

So I wish people knew that what life is really about is living a healthy life (including your mental health), building up your relationships, and giving back to others.  Compare that to where you devote most of your energy. If you have way too much to do and can’t imagine where you’re going to add in healthy living and relationships, check out my previous post about feeling like it’s all too much.  If you’re struggling to know what’s important and valuable to you, I wrote a post to help you sort that out, too.  And if you just can’t figure out a way to make yourself chillax instead of grind, you bet I’ve got a post on that, too.  

My Second Wish

Once the genie magically made it so that everyone rebalanced their time to reflect what really matters, I’d wish that people treated themselves with the same compassion they treat others with.  Y’all, my clients are some of the most compassionate people I know. At the same time, they can be callous and insensitive toward themselves. They’ve even told me they don’t even have a concept of what it would look like to be compassionate to themselves.  

But if they could be compassionate toward themselves the same way they’re compassionate toward others, they’d be able to recognize just how awesome they are.  And they wouldn’t be caught in the vortex of thinking they’ll finally be worthy if they can just figure out how to be perfect enough.  

My Third Wish

So once people were caring about the things that actually matter and they were extending some warmth and kindness to themselves, I’d ask for my third, and final, wish.  

I’d wish that dogs lived as long as we did.  

Because, for real, they’re the best.  

Hey, make sure you grab that PDF to figure out what you’d ask the genie for.  Sure, you’re probably never gonna go to the Cave of Wonders and stumble across a magical lamp.  BUT, we can actually make a lot of our wishes come true with some solid goal-setting and strategic planning.  Get the PDF to work it out.

Bonus wish: I’d wish my house never gets broken into again.  That story is coming up next week. Don’t miss it.  

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Finch 

P.S. My wish is that you would be able to harness what’s awesome about you.  Grab the PDF to work through your own wishes.  

P.P.S.  Remember, this is education, not treatment.  Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you.  See the disclaimer for more details.