12 Things Making It Hard for You to Sleep
Disrupted sleep is one of the most common symptoms of just about every mental health condition.
The more anxious you are, for example, the worse you sleep.
But the frustrating thing is that it just perpetuates itself: the worse you sleep, the more anxious you get.
You can really get stuck.
But it’s possible to reverse this spiral.
This week, we’ll take a look at 12 things that are interfering with your sleep.
Then, next week, we’ll launch into 10 ways to fall asleep faster.
Things That Make It Harder to Sleep
There are certain things that are proven to make sleep worse. So before we launch into how to sleep better, let’s make sure you’re not making things worse for yourself.
1. Watching the Clock
When we’re not sleeping well, we’re tempted to keep checking the clock to see how long we’ve been awake and all the hours of sleep we’re missing out on.
But doing this just generates more anxiety and more anxious thoughts that then make it even harder to sleep.
2. “Trying” to Sleep
Sleep is one of the only things in life that we can’t actually “try” to do.
In fact, the more we try, the harder it gets.
3. Staying In Bed When You’re Not Asleep
Our brains are heavily influenced by habit…just about everything we do is an automated process.
So it’s essential that our brains make a habit of being asleep when we’re in bed, which means we need to work really hard to make sure our brains don’t make a habit of being awake when we’re in bed.
If you’ve been lying in bed for more than 20 or 30 minutes and haven’t fallen asleep, get up.
This is hard to do, folks, because your brain is telling you that you might miss out on precious moments of sleep if you get up.
But science shows us that people actually sleep more when they are only in bed when they’re actually sleeping.
It’s counterintuitive, but if you get out of bed when you’re not sleeping, you’ll actually sleep more.
Try it out for a couple of weeks and see for yourself.
Get up and do something boring until you’re sleepy, then go back to bed.
If you haven’t fallen asleep in 20 to 30 minutes, repeat.
Don’t watch the clock to see how long you’ve been lying there, just guess.
4. Using Your Bed as a Couch or Office
When you’re training your brain to associate your bed with being asleep, it’s important that you only use your bed for sleeping.
That means your bed isn’t where you watch TV, use your laptop, read, play on your phone, eat, or do anything else.
Find another space in your bedroom or home for those activities.
But only slide into bed when you’re ready to sleep.
5. Eating Spicy Meals
Having heavy or spicy meals too close to bedtime can interfere with sleep.
On the other hand, hunger can be distracting.
If you tend to have heavier meals in the evening, try to do this at least 3 hours before bedtime.
If necessary, have a light small snack closer to bedtime.
6. Napping
When you don’t sleep well, it’s really tempting to take a nap to make up for the lost sleep.
Plus, a lot of people who struggle with insomnia start to tell themselves that they just sleep better during the daytime.
But the more you sleep during the daytime, the less you will sleep at night.
As hard as it is, if you want to fall asleep faster at night, challenge yourself to stay awake all day.
If you’re miserably tired, that’s good!! That’ll help you fall asleep faster tonight.
7. Avoiding Activities Because You’re Tired
When we don’t sleep well, we’re tempted to avoid activities because we’re just so tired.
But the more we lounge and rest, the harder it is to sleep the next night.
Just like with napping, challenge yourself to stick with your ordinary routine and activities.
Even if you’re exhausted while you do them, that’ll work to your advantage when you’re trying to fall asleep.
8. Looking at Bright Screens
The bright light from screens (TV, phone, laptop, etc.) is proven to activate and slightly energize your brain.
So, the more you connect with screens around bedtime, the more you’re sabotaging your ability to sleep.
Eliminate screens from your routine within an hour before bedtime.
Also, it’s a lie that you fall asleep faster with the TV on...the background noise might be helpful (might), but you can replicate the noise without the bright screen by getting a white noise machine or similar device.
9. Using Caffeine and Nicotine
Caffeine and nicotine are brain stimulants.
Caffeine actually works by blocking receptors for a neurotransmitter that’s involved in relaxation.
This means that when caffeine is floating around your brain, it’s hard for your brain to relax.
So, it’s obviously gonna be difficult for your brain to fall asleep.
The way nicotine works in the brain is more complicated, but it can have the same effect of activating your brain and interfering with sleep.
Therefore, it’s important to get these chemicals out of your brain before it’s time for bed…about 4-6 hours for nicotine and 8-10 hours for caffeine.
By the way, if you’re a regular caffeine or nicotine user, you might not notice or even believe that it could interfere with your sleep.
I’ve seen this time and again with my clients.
Try eliminating caffeine and nicotine for a couple of weeks (or eliminating after noon) and keep track of your sleep to test it out and see if it makes a difference.
10. Drinking Alcohol
There’s a popular belief that alcohol helps people fall asleep faster.
So many people who are struggling with insomnia begin to drink regularly at bedtime to help themselves fall asleep.
In many cases, it’s true that alcohol can help you fall asleep.
The problem is that alcohol actually interferes with sleep later in the night and makes it harder for you to stay asleep or harder for you to sleep well during the night.
So yeah, you might fall asleep, but if there’s alcohol in your body, you probably won’t be sleeping well.
11. Having a Sleep Disorder
Beyond mental health conditions, there are certain medical conditions that can interfere with sleep. If you’re wondering whether you might have a sleep disorder, consult with a physician for an exam and specific treatment options.
12. Having Untreated Mental Health Conditions
Untreated mental health conditions definitely make it harder for you to sleep. If you’re wondering whether you might have a mental health condition, consult with a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, or other mental health provider for an evaluation and treatment options.
Carry along my worksheets to maximize your therapy sessions.
If you’re already in therapy and are looking for an extra boost to the treatment you’re receiving, try my free course on how to reverse your anxious downward spiral. In it, I’ll teach you the exact intervention I teach my own therapy clients to help them master their anxiety.
Now that you’ve identified the things not to do, it’s time to launch into what to do to help yourself fall asleep faster. That’s what we’re doing next week. Don’t miss it.
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Finch
P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist based in Des Moines, Iowa, and Little Rock, Arkansas, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
