7 Signs You’re Done With Therapy & It’s Time to Graduate

Every week, you come here to my website and learn new techniques and strategies for mastering your mental health. Some of you are using the strategies on your own, and others are using them in conjunction with therapy. Recently, we’ve discussed how to choose the right therapist and worked through the jitters of getting started with therapy by discovering what you’ll be asked at your first appointment, what questions you should be asking, and what your therapist is really thinking during session. I also got personal and told you why my own therapy failed so you can have a more successful experience than I did (hopefully!).

If you’re in therapy (yay!), you can use the strategies on this website to make even more progress. At some point, though, it’ll be time to graduate from therapy and move on. But how do you know when it’s time? There isn’t an actual “graduation,” and your progress can be so gradual that it’s hard to know when to stop (just like it’s hard to know when to put down the Doritos…). Here are 7 signs you’re done with therapy and it’s time to graduate and move on (congratulations!).

1. You’ve Met Your Treatment Goals

You went to therapy for a reason: You wanted to change something or accomplish something. Hopefully you and your therapist translated this into an actual goal that you can reference and determine whether you’ve accomplished it. For example, if your goal was to be able to drive on the interstate without panicking, then you may be ready to graduate from therapy once you can accomplish that task. If your goal was more abstract (like “improve self-esteem”), it can be a little more difficult to tell when you’ve reached that goal. In that case, you’re looking for a consistent pattern of healthy behavior and general symptom relief. “Consistent pattern” means you don’t just function better for a week or two and then say “peace ✌🏼” to your therapist…it means you’ve been steadily doing well for a more extended period. Once you’ve reached your treatment goals, you might decide to set new goals with your therapist (sometimes new ideas come to mind once you get the big stuff out of the way) or you might decide to graduate from therapy.

2. What You Bring to Session is Mostly Good News

Another sign that you’re ready to graduate from therapy is that your sessions are mostly celebrations of your successes with using your skills in real life. When you have no “problems” or “issues” to report but instead are focusing mostly on what’s been going well or the relatively minor stressors of your daily life, you might be ready to graduate.

3. Your Therapy Sessions Are Boring

Initially, your therapy sessions will probably be fairly challenging emotionally as your therapist helps you uncover the issues that brought you to therapy and learn new skills to manage them. But once you’ve learned how to handle these issues, therapy might become boring. Once you’ve stopped learning new skills or learning about yourself, you may have reached maximum benefit. When you don’t feel like you’re getting much out of your sessions anymore, this could mean that you’ve progressed as much as you can or that you’ve made as much progress as possible with this particular therapist.

4. You Effectively Navigate Stressors

When you began therapy, there was probably a list of things that could easily ruin your day. One sign that you’re ready to graduate from therapy is that these stressors no longer ruin your day. You’ve learned how to respond to, navigate through, or cope with them more effectively so they don’t impact you in the same way. The skills you need to manage the stressors that routinely come up in your life are readily accessible to you.

5. You Feel Hopeful

A lot of people begin therapy in a relatively hopeless place. They’ve been struggling or in pain for so long that they wonder whether things can or will ever improve. Another sign that you’re ready to graduate from therapy is that you feel more positively about the future. You can envision yourself reaching the goals you have for your life. Plus, you’re spending your time engaged in activities that are meaningful and valuable to you rather than being held back by fear, anxiety, or inertia. When you’re spending more of your time doing what matters to you, you might be ready to end therapy.

6. You Have Skills

You’re ready to graduate from therapy when you have the skills you need to manage your mental health independently. You not only know what to do, but you’re able to use the skills in real time, in real life, to manage your symptoms. For example, you’ve learned how to stop overthinking, you know how to engage in behaviors even when it’s really hard or you don’t feel like it, or you’ve replaced habitual self-criticism with self-compassion. Another sign in this category is that when an event comes up in your life, you hear your therapist’s voice in your head. My clients call this “What Would Hayden Say?” Once you know what your therapist would say in a situation, then you’ve learned how to be your own therapist, which is the ultimate goal of therapy.

7. You’re Not Making Progress

One reason you might not be making progress anymore is because you’ve already reached your goals (see the points above). But there are other reasons you might not be making progress. For example, at some point you might come to realize that you won’t be able to reach your treatment goals with this particular therapist. That may be because the therapist lacks the particular skills or expertise you’re needing or because of a personality conflict. Or, you may come to realize that you won’t be able to reach your treatment goals because you aren’t willing or able to do the work necessary to reach your goals right now (that’s one of the reasons my own therapy failed). Regardless, if you’re not making progress, it’s either time to graduate from therapy or move on to another provider who might be able to help you make progress.

Keep This In Mind As You Decide When to End Therapy

As you decide when to end therapy, keep these 3 things in mind:

1. Ideally, the decision to end therapy should be made collaboratively with your therapist. If you begin to wonder about ending therapy, initiate the conversation with your therapist. It’s helpful to have a few sessions to wind therapy down and solidify what you’ve learned rather than just abruptly ending or ghosting your therapist. Also, it can be very helpful to have a “booster” session a couple of months down the road just to make sure that everything is still going well, so a final wrap-up session is a great time to plan that.
2. There is no set timeframe for ending therapy. Some evidence-based treatments are designed to be completed in 10 to 12 sessions. Other treatments or conditions may require longer, and some people simply prefer to stay in therapy for an extended duration to continue to refine their skills. As long as you feel like therapy is beneficial for you, then continue going. You don’t have to stop working with your personal trainer once you meet your fitness goals, and you don’t have to stop working with your therapist as soon as you meet your mental health goals, either.
3. Completing therapy is a gradual process. You’ll reach your goals gradually and hone your skills gradually, so there’s not necessarily one set indicator that it’s “time.” That’s why it’s so helpful to have the conversation about ending therapy collaboratively with your therapist.

How To Maximize The Effectiveness of Your Therapy

As you read through this, maybe you decided that it’s time to broach the topic of graduating from therapy with your therapist. That’s great! If this article has convinced you that you still have some work to do, then make sure you grab my worksheet packet and take it along to your therapy sessions so you can maximize every ounce you’re getting from your therapy. They’ll walk you through exactly what to do before, during, after, and between your therapy sessions to get the most out of every session — and hopefully that translates into graduating sooner!

30-Day Mental Health Challenge

For the next 30 days, join me on a challenge to take all the skills you’ve been learning in my articles and put them into practice in your real life. If you’ve been reading my articles and felt inspired by the evidence-based tips and strategies, this is a great way to start practicing them. Each day, I’ll tell you one skill to practice. Next week, I’ll give you all the details on what to do during the first week. Don’t miss it.

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Finch

P.S.    Remember, this is education, not treatment.  Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you.  See the disclaimer for more details.