14 Ways to Get the Most Out of Your Therapy Sessions
So you’ve gone through all the steps of getting a therapist — it wasn’t easy, but you did it! Congratulations! Now you want to make sure you get the most out of your therapy sessions. In today’s post, I’ll tell you what to do before each session, between sessions, and after each session to make sure you’re squeezing every ounce of juice out of your therapy that you can. Plus, I put together a worksheet packet for you to put it into practice, so make sure you grab that!
TYPICAL THERAPY SESSION
A therapy session usually lasts 50 minutes, and most people go once a week or every other week in the beginning. So if you’re going once a week, that’s 0.5% of your life that you’re spending in therapy…meaning 99.5% of your life is still happening outside of the therapy room.
Outside of the therapy room is where the real work happens. That’s where you’re living your life…having your relationships…running into triggers….trying to keep it all balanced. Inside the therapy room is like a little terrarium that’s protected and carefully managed; it’s lovely, but it’s not real life.
Important work definitely happens in the therapy room. That’s the whole point, right? But the most important work happens after you leave the therapy room and take what you just got in that 50 minutes into your actual life.
Unfortunately, a lot of people leave the therapy room and then forget about therapy until their next appointment rolls around. It’s not surprising, then, that those people don’t tend to get as much out of therapy…their symptoms stay more severe for longer and they end up staying in therapy longer.
There are a few things you can do to make sure you get the most out of your therapy sessions and translate what you’re learning in the therapy room into your real life. I put together a worksheet packet for you to organize these lessons, so grab that as a tool for maximizing your therapy sessions. Let’s break it down into before, during, after, and between sessions.
HOW TO PREPARE FOR A THERAPY SESSION
1. Write down a broad overview of how the week went in 1 to 2 sentences. How did you feel? How did you cope? Any major stressors, crises, or challenges? Any celebrations, successes, or victories?
2. Make an agenda for the therapy session. Review your notes from the week (see #14) and your notes from the last session (see #8, #9, #10). Write down 1 to 3 problems you ran into recently that you need help resolving, symptoms you want to learn how to cope with, or skills you want to learn.
3. Review your homework. Collect any worksheets you completed. Write down your main observations from the goals you completed. For homework you didn’t complete, write down what interfered: thoughts, circumstances, emotions, resources, etc. This will help you and your therapist troubleshoot how to make that assignment or other assignments more likely to be successful in the future.
4. Review your notes from the last therapy session, including the notes you took in session (see #6) and the notes you took after session (see #7-10).
WHAT TO DO DURING A THERAPY SESSION
5. Share your overview of the week and your agenda items with your therapist at the beginning of the session.
6. Write down any main take-aways, insights, or lessons learned. Write down the steps for new skills you’re learning.
WHAT TO DO AFTER A THERAPY SESSION
7. Review the notes you took during session (see #6) and write down any other main points you took away from the session that you might have missed.
8. Think about where the next session should go. If the session had lasted another 30 minutes, what would you have talked about next? Write that down because it might be an important agenda item for the next session.
9. Write down any other items that come to mind that you might want to discuss at the next session or at a future session.
10. Write down anything that bothered you about the session. Did your therapist say something that rubbed you the wrong way? Were items on the agenda missed? Did you feel like it was a productive use of your time? It will be important to discuss these things with your therapist at the next session so they don’t build up and become bigger problems.
11. Write down your homework. If you and your therapist didn’t specifically agree on any homework, write down one or two things you could commit to trying to do differently in the upcoming week. Maybe it’s reminding yourself of something you learned in the session. Maybe it’s conducting an experiment and trying something new based on what you talked about.
WHAT TO DO BETWEEN THERAPY SESSIONS
12. Of course, try to do your homework. See #11.
13. If you have trouble getting your homework done, immediately write down what the problem was. Was there a thought that got in the way (e.g., This is too hard…I’ll do it later…This won’t help…I’m not ready yet…)? Were there circumstances that got in the way (e.g., you wanted to talk to your boss, but she has been out of town unexpectedly)? Were there resources that were unavailable (e.g., time, money, childcare)?
14. Note any concerning emotions, thoughts, or behaviors, especially if you notice them repeatedly. These might be important agenda items in the future.
These 14 strategies will help you maximize each therapy session. Grab the worksheet I made for you to organize these strategies.
WHY THERAPY HOMEWORK IS IMPORTANT
This might seem like a lot. And it is. Therapy is intended to help you change your life, and unfortunately that can’t happen if you’re only working on your life for 50 minutes a week. The more time you invest in thinking about your therapy sessions and trying to really implement what you’re learning in them, the more productive the sessions will be, the more quickly your life will change, and the more confident you’ll feel in mastering your mental health. Grab the worksheet to maximize your therapy sessions.
Next week, we’re talking about a specific type of therapy: cognitive-behavioral therapy. It’s the most widely researched psychological treatment for most conditions, including all forms of anxiety and depression. I’ll tell you the main lessons CBT teaches us about what to do differently in our lives. Don’t miss it.
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Finch
P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
