If you’re overwhelmed, chances are you’re making this mistake. I continue to make it…even though I know about it…because it’s a tough one to get right.
Here’s the mistake: We think about activities as having a single purpose, usually to achieve some goal.
Examples of activities with that purpose: Cleaning (goal: clean house), work (goals: keep job, produce whatever you were hired to do, get a raise/promotion, impress coworkers), exercise (goals: lose weight, get stronger), go back to school (goal: get a degree so you can earn more money).
Those activities and that achievement-oriented goal are important.
But there are other kinds of activities, too, that have nothing to do with achievement.
Examples of activities that have nothing to do with achievement: Getting a pet (goal: usually has nothing to do with raising a show dog), hugging your kids (goal: usually has nothing to do with reaching your hug quota for the day), lying on the beach (goal: usually is unrelated to your career as a swimsuit model).
Because these activities aren’t achievement-oriented, we decrease their perceived value. They don’t count as much. But why shouldn’t they? They’re valuable for building closeness with our loved ones, they’re valuable because they’re simply enjoyable (and fill up our cup with joy), they’re valuable because they’re important to us.
The biggest mistake we make is we fill our time with tasks that are productive, that achieve some goal. And I’m all about goal-setting, so I definitely don’t want to abandon that. But the risk of only filling our time with achievement-oriented tasks is that we’re constantly under pressure to achieve something. Constantly. And our cup gets filled with the stress and pressure to achieve. (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about with this “cup” business, make sure you check out last week’s post…it’s a good one.)
If you want to fill your cup with something other than stress and pressure, it’s important to fill your time with activities that aren’t solely about achievement. Here’s a worksheet to help you get organized with it:
If this post about goals and achievement resonated with you, I’m guessing you love a to-do list. Next week, I’ve got a killer tip for you and your to-do list. Don’t miss it.
Dr. Finch
P.S. If you skipped to the end, I see you. Here’s the gist: Our brains tell us achievement-oriented activities are more valuable than non-achievement-oriented activities. But this is not only false, it creates pressure and overwhelm. Download the free worksheet to see if you’re on track.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, focused on helping you master your mental health.
