5 Ways to Get Motivated After Work
There’s more to do than can ever be done.
[side note for those of you who are 90s kids: I just typed that sentence and then launched into a full performance of the Circle of Life.
🎶 From the day we arrive on the planet
And blinking, step into the sun
There’s more to be seen than can ever be seen
More to do than can ever be done 🎶
Ok back to the article…]
There’s more to do than can ever be done, and sometimes that reality really sinks in and can be paralyzing.
We realize we can’t actually fit everything in, so we just end up doing almost nothing at all.
Plus, we’re just so tired by the end of the day that it doesn’t seem like we really can do anything.
Maybe it’s true that you can’t do it all, but I’m here today with 5 ways to get yourself motivated after work so at least you can do some of it.
IT’S HARD TO GET MOTIVATED AFTER WORK
Between work and kids and family and chores and errands and exercise and friends and perfecting your Pinterest dream house and planning your summer vacation and waiting for Bachelor in Paradise to premiere, you’ve got a lot going on.
And you’ve got goals. You’re ambitious and driven. You see people around you doing big things and you know you can do it, too.
But when it actually comes to doing it…it’s like the motivation just evaporates and you end up sitting on your couch waiting for tomorrow instead of moving forward on your goals.
You didn’t sleep well and you’ve worked all freakin’ day…you deserve a break.
And I agree, breaks are good, at least in moderation.
But somehow we’ve gotta figure out how to give ourselves breaks and get motivated to do things after work.
Part of the secret sauce is figuring out how to not be so depleted by the time you get to the end of the day, and having good strategies for pacing yourself might be helpful.
But here’s what to do at the end of the day when you find yourself in the cycle of not moving forward on your goals.
How to Get Motivated After Work
1. Do more.
This tip isn’t about doing more…it’s about doing more.
We spend a lot of time in the dreaming, thinking, and planning phase of our life, which means we spend very little time in the doing, accomplishing, and kicking butt phase.
Planning makes us feel more comfortable.
It eases anxiety and makes us feel like we’re preparing and preventing potential disasters.
And obviously preparing is positive.
But at some point (and if you get honest with yourself, you’ll know what that point is), it’s time to face the feelings that come with action and just do it.
Those feelings might be anxiety or nervousness if it’s a big goal you’re working toward…like applying for a new job or starting your own business.
Or it might be shame or guilt if it’s something you think you should have been doing all along…like going to the gym or starting a healthier diet.
Or it might be boredom if it’s something you don’t find rewarding…like those household projects you’ve been procrastinating for 5 years.
Or it might even be frustration or irritation if it’s something you’ve been meaning to learn how to do better…like meditating.
The point here is to think less and do more.
Stop dreaming about those big goals you have and start doing the goals.
Stop thinking about everything you have to do and start doing it.
2. Visualize how you’re going to spend your evening.
Visualization is one of the most powerful things our brains do.
Our brains can simulate entire experiences that we’ve never had, and that’s incredibly helpful for anticipating problems that might come up.
It’s basically a practice run in your head before the real deal.
When I was a musician, I did this every single time I was faced with a new piece of music: I read the music, sang the piece in my head, and felt it with my body before I ever played a single note on the instrument.
Athletes do this, too: they see plays in their heads before they execute them.
Even Michael Phelps used imagery to win in the Olympics after a mishap early in the race made him fall behind…he had practiced that type of mishap so many times that when it actually happened, he was prepared and could win anyways.
Listen to this podcast, where they talk about how powerful visualization is and how Michael Phelps used visualization to win. It’s 45 minutes that just might change your life.
But visualization isn’t just for Olympians. You can do it, too. Here’s how.
Before you get home, take a moment and close your eyes.
Visualize yourself driving home, making whatever stops you have to make along the way.
Then visualize yourself coming home, gathering your stuff out of the car, and opening your door.
You open the door and put your things away.
And this is where the magic starts. What are you going to do next?
Imagine your entire evening, from getting home until bedtime. How is it going to go? What are you going to do?
This is a practice run for the real deal.
Are you going to cook, bathe your kids, and then collapse on the couch?
Visualize how it’s going to go.
Make the visualization as realistic as you can, with all the problems that come up and all the feelings you’ll feel.
Now, go do what you just visualized yourself doing. Be Michael Phelps.
3. Plan for down days.
Some days you’re gonna Michael Phelps the crap out of your life. Other days, you’ll barely tread water.
That’s okay. Let’s go ahead and plan for that.
Planning for slow days and down days and “I just don’t have it in me” days is part of being successful with getting motivated after work.
The expectation isn’t that you’re going to be able to put in 3 hours of highly motivated work after a full day of your 9-to-5 every single day.
The expectation is that you’re going to be able to put in more highly motivated work overall.
So as you’re setting yourself up to get motivated after work, set goals for ambitious days and goals for less ambitious days.
4. Be a freakin’ tortoise.
If there’s one thing I do more than anything else in therapy sessions, it’s encourage people to be tortoises.
If you’re one of my clients, we’ve probably had this chat…like, at least once a month.
This tortoise metaphor refers to Aesop’s “The Tortoise and The Hare” fable…where the rabbit was making fun of the tortoise for being so slow but then the tortoise actually won the race. Ah, so heart-warming when the underdog wins.
Anyways, the moral of the story is that you can be more successful by taking the “slow and steady” approach than the “quick and careless” approach.
Here’s how to be a tortoise.
Set a goal for what you want to get done after work. Write it down (don’t skip the writing part).
- Cook a healthy meal from scratch.
- Help Kid 1 with math.
- Give Kid 2 a bath.
- Read for 20 minutes with Kid 2.
- Exercise for 30 minutes.
- Meditate for 20 minutes.
- Journal for 20 minutes.
- Research “work from home jobs.”
Now, cut the goal in half(ish).
- Cook a basically healthy meal.
- Help Kid 1 with math while Hubs gives Kid 2 a bath.
- Read for 15 minutes with Kid 2.
- Exercise for 20 minutes.
- Meditate for 10 minutes.
- Journal for 10 minutes.
- Research “work from home jobs” for 15 minutes. Bookmark articles to read later.
Now, cut the goal in half(ish) again.
- Cook a meal. Any meal.
- Help Kid 1 with math while Hubs gives Kid 2 a bath.
- Read for 15 minutes with Kid 2.
- Exercise for 20 minutes.
- Research “work from home jobs” for 10 minutes. Bookmark articles to read later.
It hurts to cut the goals in half because we’re hardwired to be hares.
But be a tortoise, friend.
I’d bet that the list we ended up with is still more work on your goals than what you ordinarily get done…and if it’s not, then adjust it so it is just a smidge more challenging than what you normally do.
And obviously the objective isn’t to just get complacent with that final list and give up altogether on meals from scratch, journaling, and meditating.
The idea is that today I might exercise for 20 minutes, tomorrow I might journal and meditate, and a month from now I might do all 3.
Each week, adjust your goals based on how last week went.
Be a tortoise.
5. Work with the barriers.
Part of the reason we have trouble getting things done after work is because there are so many freakin’ barriers in the way.
Our own excuses and lack of energy are big enough barriers, but then there are other barriers like our kids being literally in our face all the time, their activity schedules, and the necessity of feeding them every single day…and that’s just the kid part.
There’s also your spouse who understandably wants to spend time with you and your friends who are dying to see you.
And you’ve got chores…laundry literally never stops, somebody’s gotta unload the dishwasher, and we’re absolutely gonna run out of toilet paper if someone doesn’t go to the store.
Dealing with all of those big and small stressors on a daily basis can wipe out your motivation to work toward your goals.
Most of the time, we respond by just deciding there’s legitimately no way we can actually work on our personal projects…too many disruptions, not enough space, not enough time.
The solution here is to anticipate the barriers and work with them instead of against them.
Take a moment and write down what gets in the way of working on your goals after work.
Is it people? Space? Energy? Other things to do that are easier in the moment? Anxiety? Uncertainty about where to start? What gets in the way?
Now, take each of those and figure out how to work with the problem instead of fight against it.
Fighting against the barrier looks like saying to yourself,
“I don’t have time for this,”
“The kids won’t leave me alone so I can do this,”
“I don’t know how to do it,” etc.
Figure out what working with the barriers looks like.
If you need some ideas, grab this PDF where I share some of the solutions that have worked for my clients.
Look, everyone has anxiety.
Everyone on the planet with a brain and a nervous system has anxiety.
It’s part of being alive.
But some people have more anxiety than others.
Have you ever wondered what the difference is between “everyday anxiety” and an anxiety disorder?
Next week, I’ve got 7 essential differences between “everyday anxiety” and anxiety disorders. Don’t miss it.
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Finch
P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
