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A Message for When You're Feeling Like a Total Failure | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

A Message for When You’re Feeling Like a Total Failure

Anxiety, Blog, Depression, Imposter Syndrome, Purpose & Meaning, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Self-Esteem /

Who doesn’t want to be more perfect? To dress nicer, look nicer, be nicer? We worry that our imperfections will not only hold us back from living the lives we want, but we also worry our flaws will negatively impact the people around us…the people we love most. If this is you and you feel like you’ve just dropped all the balls or can’t keep any of the plates spinning, I’ve got a question you need to ask yourself. See the question here.

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Shonda Rhimes Has the Secret to Doing It All | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

Shonda Rhimes Has the Secret to Doing It All

Anxiety, Blog, Burnout, Imposter Syndrome, Purpose & Meaning, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Stress /

Did you know that I’m slightly obsessed with Scandal? Sure, it’s off the air, but I still watch it on repeat. The creator of Scandal, Shonda Rhimes, gave the graduation speech at Dartmouth a few years ago, and her speech was so epic it’s still quoted. In it, she tells you the secret to keeping it all balanced. This is a woman who has a super demanding job (she writes and produces three major television shows) and has a family. And she’s got the secret. It’s not what you’d think.  I’ll share it with you here.

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The Brain Science Behind Why You Keep Repeating Behaviors That Make You Stressed | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

The Brain Science Behind Why You Keep Repeating Behaviors That Make You Stressed

Anxiety, Solving Recurrent Problems, Stress /

Last week, we talked about how using an emotional compass that’s pointed toward misery makes us reactive instead of proactive and ultimately makes us miserable.  That misery compass is part of what makes us repeat the same old patterns that make us anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. As long as we’re not miserable, we just keep doing what we’ve always done.  

 

But there’s another factor that makes us repeat the same old unhelfpul, unhealthy patterns we’ve always used — think: wine, snoozing, and Instagram.  It’s an old factor that’s been hardwired into the human brain for thousands of years. This factor makes us keep doing things we know lead us right back where we started.  

 

In this week’s article, I share with you the psychology behind it.  

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Why You Feel Anxious When Someone Asks What You Did This Weekend | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

Why You Feel Anxious When Someone Asks What You Did This Weekend

Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Stress /

 “What’d you do this weekend?”

That’s what your coworkers innocently ask you every Monday morning.  They’re just making conversation, of course, but do you feel a pang of anxiety when you’re asked that question?  Do you feel a need to justify your weekend? To prove that you spent it in a worthwhile way?  

 

In today’s post, I’ll tell you exactly why you feel anxious and uncomfortable when you’re asked that question.  In a nutshell: You’re not a worthwhile person. (ok actually it might be more complicated than that…) Check out the article.

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How to Break Bad Habits That Perpetuate Your Stress & AnxietyHow to Build Happiness Habits | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

How to Break Bad Habits That Perpetuate Your Stress & Anxiety

Anxiety, Burnout, Depression, Stress /

Last week, I shared with you a simple strategy for building good habits.  Not only will this reverse and prevent lifestyle burnout, but it’s also a powerful approach for creating that elusive work-life balance everyone’s always preaching about.  And it actually can lead to happiness.  

 

But finding happiness isn’t just about doing more of the good stuff.  It’s also about doing less of the bad stuff. So I’m here today to share with you how to break bad habits.  Again, credit to James Clear (and this podcast) for distilling it into four easy-to-understand criteria.  

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How to Build Happiness Habits | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

How to Build Happiness Habits

Anxiety, Burnout, Depression, Procrastination, Self-Esteem, Stress /

Technology has automated so many of our routine processes (like when was the last time you used a washboard???), but somehow we feel busier, less satisfied, and more anxious than ever. Our futures are determined by the habits we build. Most of us know the habits we need to build and the ones we need to ditch, but we just can’t figure out how to make it a reality. Today, I’m here to teach you a simple strategy for building good happiness habits. Not only will this reverse and prevent lifestyle burnout, but it’s also a powerful approach for creating that elusive work-life balance everyone’s always preaching about. Grab the downloadable PDF to work through the steps to build your own healthy happiness habits.

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2019.10.07 7 Things That Cause Maladaptive Perfectionism & Anxiety | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD

7 Things That Cause Maladaptive Perfectionism & Anxiety

Anxiety, Blog, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism /

Recently, we’ve been talking about when setting high standards for ourselves gets out of hand and creates anxiety. It’s called maladaptive perfectionism when it crosses that line and starts creating more problems (i.e., anxiety) than it solves. We identified the signs we’ve crossed the line, we figured out what your standards are, and we determined whether your standards are healthy or unhealthy. Today, we’re taking a step back and talking about what causes us to get in this situation. I mean, let’s be honest, we all like knowing where to place the blame 😉. Grab the PDF at the end to work through it for yourself.

Next week, I’m demystifying signs of stress in women. Don’t miss it.

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11 Questions to Ask Yourself to Determine If Your Standards Are Creating Unnecessary Anxiety | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD

11 Questions to Ask Yourself to Determine If Your Standards Are Healthy or Creating Unnecessary Anxiety

Anxiety, Blog, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Stress /

So we’ve talked about how the unhealthy, unrelenting standards you’ve set for yourself are keeping you stuck with anxiety. They make you feel overwhelmed, inadequate, and stressed out. And we also talked about the importance of having standards — we can’t just abandon them altogether! What we want to do is identify the standards that are helpful and keep those around and then also identify the ones that are creating anxiety and modify them to be more helpful. So last week we figured out what your standards are. And today, it’s time to figure out which standards are unhelpful and causing unnecessary anxiety. Check out my article today outlining 11 questions to ask yourself to determine if your personal standards have crossed the line and are creating unnecessary anxiety. And make sure you grab the free PDF for this post to put it into action!

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Your Standards Are Keeping You Stuck & Anxious | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD

Your Standards Are Keeping You Stuck & Anxious

Anxiety, Blog, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism /

So the first thing we’ve gotta do to get into recovery is to figure out what your standards are for yourself.  Having standards is important. Even having high standards is important.  But when our standards are unhealthy they create problems.  So in today’s article, I’m walking you through how to determine what your standards are, complete with a PDF to help you start making it actionable.  Then next week, we’ll start figuring out if they’re healthy, so don’t miss it.  

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10 Signs of Maladaptive Perfectionism | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD

10 Signs of Maladaptive Perfectionism

Anxiety, Blog, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism /

Hey, we all want to do great work, right?  I mean, why work hard unless whatever you produce is something you’re really proud of?  I’m definitely on board with that.  

 

The problem is that setting high standards for ourselves can get out of hand for some of us.  In today’s article, I outline 10 signs that you’ve crossed the line into a place where your high standards are no longer working for you.  Check it out here. And then I’ve got a PDF for you to practice changing those unhealthy high standards into healthier alternatives, so make sure you grab that, too, so you can make it actionable.

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