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The Secret to Living a Balanced Life

Anxiety, Blog, Burnout, Depression, Purpose & Meaning, Stress, Time Management / Hayden Finch, PhD

Psychological health and relieving stress, anxiety, and depression are all about balance. It’s so cliche that I roll my eyes at myself when I say it to my clients. When we’re stressed, overwhelmed, or anxious, that’s an emotional cue that something is out of balance in our lives. So we respond by shifting things around. Mental health problems arise (in part) from things being too far out of balance for too long. We’ll rebalance but we too quickly go back to the old patterns that got us out of balance in the first place. Today, I’ll tell you the piece you’re missing to help you actually get things balanced in the long term.

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5 Things You Need to Know About Imposter Syndrome

Anxiety, Blog, Imposter Syndrome / Hayden Finch, PhD

Imposter syndrome is a super trendy topic on social media now. And like anything online, it’s hard to know what information about it is legit and what information about it has been totally made up and shared enough times that it seems legit. Unlike lots of social media concepts, imposter syndrome is an actual psychological concept. It’s been researched and we know a lot about it. So I’m here to tell you 5 things the science says about imposter syndrome so you’ll know the real deal.

I’ll give you the official definition and tell you some of the thinking and behavior patterns we see in imposter syndrome and tell you what we know about how it affects your mental health.

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18 Key Characteristics of the Conscientious but Critical Personality Type

Anxiety, Blog, Imposter Syndrome, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Stress / Hayden Finch, PhD

Have you heard of the enneagram? It describes nine personality types that are more based in spirituality and anecdote than science, but they’re an interesting description of how we think about the world, the choices we tend to make, our personal values, how we interact with people, and how we respond to stress.

A lot of the articles I write are geared toward folks who are enneagram type 1. In part, this is because enneagram 1s tend to think nothing is ever quite good enough so they’re always on a personal improvement quest. They love a good self-help book and are addicted to researching how to do things. In my article today, I’m sharing with you the core characteristics of type 1s — from their strengths and weaknesses to their core fears and desires. See if you relate here.

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3 Lessons About Resilience from a Nightmare Trip to Florida

Anxiety, Burnout, Depression, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Stress / Hayden Finch, PhD

In today’s post, I share with you all the horrific details of a nightmare trip to see my husband and the 3 lessons I learned about myself and about psychological resilience. If you’ve ever been in tears in an airport, this is a must-read.

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How to Overcome Anxiety & Depression with More Useful Questions

Anxiety, Blog, Depression, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism / Hayden Finch, PhD

As a full-time therapist, I hear a lot of people’s most intimate thoughts, and I’ve noticed people are asking themselves a lot of questions….a lot of unhelpful questions that are keeping them stuck. In today’s article, I’ll show you how to turn unhelpful questions (like Why can’t I get this right?) into more productive, useful questions to get you unstuck from anxiety and depression. Discover how to do it here.

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You're Insulting People with Your Modesty | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services | Hayden Finch, PhD | Paradocs Psychological Services

Your Modesty Is Insulting

Anxiety, Blog, Imposter Syndrome / Hayden Finch, PhD

When someone says

“You look nice today!”

Do you respond with something like

“I snoozed too long this morning, so this is day 3 hair.”

Most of us dismiss compliments because we think it makes us look modest. Today, I’ll show you how this habit can mean you’re actually insulting people. Oopsies. And I’ll show you how to change your response to one that’s not so insulting. If you’re in an intimate relationship, this is a critical skill to develop if you want the compliments to keep flowing.

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How to Become the Person You Want to Be

Anxiety, Blog, Depression, Solving Recurrent Problems, Stress, Time Management / Hayden Finch, PhD

Psychological research tells us that the reason we feel anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed is the actions we’re taking. There’s a specific person you want to become…you’ve envisioned that person for a long time, you’ve tried dozens of things to become that person. You’ve meditated, you’ve gone to the gym, you’ve even gone to therapy. I’ve got a message for you in today’s article about how to actually make the changes.

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A Message for When You’re Feeling Like a Total Failure

Anxiety, Blog, Depression, Imposter Syndrome, Purpose & Meaning, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Self-Esteem / Hayden Finch, PhD

Who doesn’t want to be more perfect? To dress nicer, look nicer, be nicer? We worry that our imperfections will not only hold us back from living the lives we want, but we also worry our flaws will negatively impact the people around us…the people we love most. If this is you and you feel like you’ve just dropped all the balls or can’t keep any of the plates spinning, I’ve got a question you need to ask yourself. See the question here.

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Shonda Rhimes Has the Secret to Doing It All

Anxiety, Blog, Burnout, Imposter Syndrome, Purpose & Meaning, Self-Criticism & Perfectionism, Stress / Hayden Finch, PhD

Did you know that I’m slightly obsessed with Scandal? Sure, it’s off the air, but I still watch it on repeat. The creator of Scandal, Shonda Rhimes, gave the graduation speech at Dartmouth a few years ago, and her speech was so epic it’s still quoted. In it, she tells you the secret to keeping it all balanced. This is a woman who has a super demanding job (she writes and produces three major television shows) and has a family. And she’s got the secret. It’s not what you’d think. I’ll share it with you here.

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The Brain Science Behind Why You Keep Repeating Behaviors That Make You Stressed

Anxiety, Solving Recurrent Problems, Stress / Hayden Finch, PhD

Last week, we talked about how using an emotional compass that’s pointed toward misery makes us reactive instead of proactive and ultimately makes us miserable. That misery compass is part of what makes us repeat the same old patterns that make us anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. As long as we’re not miserable, we just keep doing what we’ve always done.

But there’s another factor that makes us repeat the same old unhelfpul, unhealthy patterns we’ve always used — think: wine, snoozing, and Instagram. It’s an old factor that’s been hardwired into the human brain for thousands of years. This factor makes us keep doing things we know lead us right back where we started.

In this week’s article, I share with you the psychology behind it.

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The Secret to Living a Balanced Life

5 Things You Need to Know About Imposter Syndrome

18 Key Characteristics of the Conscientious but Critical Personality Type

3 Lessons About Resilience from a Nightmare Trip to Florida

How to Overcome Anxiety & Depression with More Useful Questions

How to Become the Person You Want to Be

A Message for When You’re Feeling Like a Total Failure

Shonda Rhimes Has the Secret to Doing It All

The Brain Science Behind Why You Keep Repeating Behaviors That Make You Stressed

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