By HAYDEN FINCH, PhD
We’ve established that you have some difficulties with time management. And we chatted about what can cause problems with time management and why the approaches you’ve tried in the past haven’t worked. Then, we talked about some specifics in terms of how to structure your priority list. Now, some final thoughts on some general conceptual tips on managing time.
Minimize your distractions. Close your office door. Turn off your phone. Close your email. Go to a library. This is serious, folks. We’re trying to be efficient, which means we can’t be distracted. Also, while we’re on it, keep your paperwork organized. There is no sense in losing your precious time rifling through papers. Spend the time it takes to get an organized system going and then commit to using it.
Also, know yourself. Are you a morning person? Then get the hardest things done first thing in the morning. Do you finally get going around mid-afternoon? Then do some easier things in the morning and then schedule harder tasks later in the day. Monitor yourself for a week to determine when your energy is at its peak and do the most demanding tasks during that window.
“Remember, every time you say “yes” to one thing, you are saying “no” to another…Make conscious decisions about how you want to spend your time.”
Also, consider scheduling large, stressful tasks to the extent you can. Many stressful life events are stressful precisely because they’re unexpected and uncontrollable. But other events have some wiggle room. Things like painting your house, cleaning out your closet, cutting your dog’s toenails (just me on that last one? stressful.). If doing things like this is stressful after a busy workday or workweek, schedule them for when you have some vacation time (or vice versa). If you hate the people at the grocery store who have their carts in the middle of the aisle, go early in the morning or go in the evening on a weeknight to avoid the crowds. If traffic irritates you, see if you can negotiate your work hours with your boss so you can come in or leave before or after rush hour. Or maybe you have the option to work remotely and avoid traffic altogether some days. Identify what daily hassles stress you out and see if you can problem-solve a solution.
Things will go wrong. You’ll need to stop to put air in your tire. The stoplights won’t be working. There will be a traffic accident. You’ll forget your laptop at home. You’ll set your navigation to West 9th Street when it should have been East 9th Street. You’ll think the meeting is on the 3rd floor and it’s on the 33rd. Things will go wrong. Plan ahead for this. Add some cushion in your schedule. Plan to arrive to appointments 15 minutes early and bring something to do in case nothing goes wrong. Having the extra time will keep you from being stressed while you rush from event to event, which will put you in a better frame of mind.
We waste a lot of time. Have you ever tried to write down exactly where your 24 hours go? If 8 are at work and 8 are asleep, we should theoretically have 8 solid hours in our day to do everything else. That sounds like a lot of time. But for most of us, it’s more like 2 or 3 hours. Where are those 5 hours?? Some of it is legit stuff, like commuting, showering, cooking and eating, etc. And then a lot of it is just wasted, on things like TV, social media, water cooler chit chat (or whatever the 21st century version of that is). Here’s my suggestion. For a week, record how much time you spend on those distractions. Then, schedule time for the ones you enjoy. If you love Bachelor in Paradise, then by all means make sure you watch it! But schedule it. If you love checking your Instagram feed, great! But set a timer so you know when to get back to the other things that are also important to you.
It is very important that you create protected time for work AND protected time for family. Look at your calendar right now. Pull it out. You’ve got work responsibilities on there. And probably a few appointments here and there. But do you have time scheduled to play with your children? To walk your dog? To exercise? To call your mom? To restore yourself with stretching, walking, relaxation, etc.? Those tasks aren’t any less important than work and appointments. Protect that time. Put breaks on your schedule and incorporate these important tasks into those breaks. Whatever you do, DO NOT CONSIDER THAT TIME NEGOTIABLE. Repeat after me, IT IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.
Finally, don’t overcommit. Now that you know how to make a priority list, say “no” to things that aren’t the highest priority. Remember, every time you say “yes” to one thing, you are saying “no” to another. Yes to one more hour at work means no to one more hour bonding with your children. Yes to another episode on Netflix means no to the gym. Yes to helping your friend move (for the 3rd time) means no to taking time to rest and reflect. Make conscious decisions about how you want to spend your time.
Try out these strategies and let me know how they go. If you’re really struggling despite giving this a good faith effort, I would recommend you chat with a psychologist. It’s possible you have an undiagnosed mental health condition that could be interfering with your success. Often, these conditions are highly treatable. There’s no sense in struggling if treatment is available.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD,
is a practicing psychologist
in Des Moines, Iowa.
