By HAYDEN FINCH, PhD
We all struggle with lack of motivation at times, and some of us more than others. We’re not motivated to go to the gym, to really (I mean truly) manage our finances, to catch up with our friends, to check in with our partners about our relationship, to fold the laundry, and many other things. Although we know each of these things is important and we value them highly, they just somehow don’t make it on our to-do list. Instead, we waste away our weekends watching reality TV, taking naps, and wondering how Monday came so soon.
One strategy many people find helpful is to JUST GET STARTED. Just plan to do a tiny bit. So if you’re not motivated to fold the clothes, just set a goal to fold two shirts. If you can’t seem to get packed for your work trip, just get out your suitcase. If you can’t get started on that work presentation, just pull up PowerPoint and make a title slide. If you can’t seem to get inspired for your two-page reflection paper, just outline your main ideas. Just start somewhere. Don’t plan to do anything other than that tiniest bit. Getting started is most often the most difficult part, so plan to just GET STARTED. Sometimes just getting your butt up off the couch is enough – stand up, start walking, and somehow you’ll end up getting something done.
Forget about motivation – what are you determined to do today, this week, this year?
Another approach is to replace “motivation” with “determination.” It’s true, most of us don’t ever have the motivation to go to the gym. We might be motivated to lose weight, but going to the gym? Not so much. Face it – it takes a lot of effort to get there, it’s at the same time really hard and boring, and it takes a long time to get any reward. It’s hard to feel motivated for any situation like that. In that context, we can’t really rely on motivation to help us get things done. Sometimes we have to replace that motivation with determination. I don’t necessarily need to be motivated to get my butt to the gym – I just need to be determined to stay on schedule and improve my physical and mental health. Similarly, we might not need motivation to apply for a new job if we’re determined to advance our careers, get the raise we deserve, and model goal setting and attainment for our kids. Forget about motivation – what are you determined to do today, this week, this year?
If you think you’re stuck because of perfectionism, stay tuned for an upcoming post about how to overcome perfectionism.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD,
is a practicing psychologist
in Des Moines, Iowa.
