No matter what type of mental health symptoms you have, more stress = more symptoms. This is true for anxiety (more stress = more anxiety), depression (more stress = more depression), and just about every other mental health condition. So, a big component of managing your mental health in general is to manage stress. “Stress management” can seem like a vague concept, so today I’ll break it down into a two-step process to simplify the process.

How to Know If You’re Stressed

Sometimes, it’s hard to know if what we’re feeling is stress or anxiety or depression or just what regular life feels like. It’s helpful to know how stress shows up in your body so you can recognize when stress is piling up. In a previous article, I shared with you 9 ways stress affects women specifically and gave you over 200 other signs of stress. Start with those resources to get a really solid understanding of how to know when to start implementing your two-step stress management plan.

Before you begin managing your stress, it’s also helpful to know where the stress is coming from. In a previous article, I walked you through how to identify the stressors that are burning you out. Start there to finalize the foundation for your two-step stress management plan.

How to Manage Stress

Step 1: Remove As Much Stress as Possible

Step 1 of your two-step stress management plan is to remove as much stress as possible. Outsource everyday sources of stress like grocery shopping (do pickup or delivery), break the bad habits that perpetuate your stress and anxiety, delegate tasks (to your direct-reports, to your spouse, to your children), get creative with the tasks that cause you more stress than necessary (use paper plates if you doing dishes is a constant source of stress), and detox from social media.

To remove stressors, follow this 5-step problem-solving plan:

1. Identify the problem or stressor as specifically as possible. Example: An employee asks constant questions, which drains your time and energy.
2. Generate as many solutions as possible to the problem. Don’t judge whether the solutions are good or bad, possible or impossible, at this point. Just write them down. Example: Fire the employee, transfer him to another department, quit your job, transfer to another department, put the employee on a performance improvement plan, set boundaries with the employee, ignore the employee, etc.
3. Choose your top few solutions and weigh the advantages and disadvantages of the solution. Example: “Put the employee on a performance improvement plan” would make an official change but might offend the employee; “Set boundaries with the employee” would be uncomfortable and might take work to reinforce but it wouldn’t turn this into a bigger deal than it needs to be.
4. Choose a solution to try and decide how to put it into practice. Example: Set up a meeting with the employee to answer his most recent questions and to establish a collaborative plan for what to do with future questions.
5. Review the effectiveness of the solution and adjust as needed. Example: The employee has redirected some questions to other supervisors but is still coming to you with questions frequently; discuss this at next meeting and encourage consolidating the questions into a single email per day rather than multiple emails, texts, and calls throughout the day.

Step 2: Cope with Remaining Stress

Once you’ve removed as much stress as possible, you’ll still have a lot of stress remaining. That’s part of being alive…there will always be stress. But now that you’ve at least removed the low-hanging fruit, it’s a bit easier to cope with what’s left over.

Luckily, I’ve written tons of articles with proven strategies for coping with stress. Here are some of my favorites:

1. Address unhelpful stressful thoughts (“I can’t handle this,” “This is too much,” “This is terrible,” “I’m not good enough”) with this 7-step process:

2. Take care of the anxiety that manifests when you’re stressed with these 9 ways to manage anxiety without medication:

3. Learn how to unwind after work with these 7 proven strategies:

4. Start a journal with these journal prompts or this 30-day schedule of prompts for a gratitude journal:

5. Double-down on your self-care with these 8 non-cliche ways to practice self-care.

6. Grab yourself a weighted blanket.

7. Practice these mindfulness exercises.

8. Prioritize these 6 research-proven strategies to relieve stress.

How to Organize Stressful Thoughts

When you master this two-step plan, you’ll become a pro at managing stress. But when you’re stressed, you might notice that your thoughts get jumbled and confusing. Next week, I’ll give you some specific strategies for organizing stressful thoughts. Don’t miss it.

Talk to you soon,

Dr. Finch

P.S.    Remember, this is education, not treatment.  Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you.  See the disclaimer for more details.