So You're Burning Out. 7 Ways to Fix It Now.
Recently, we’ve been chatting about lifestyle burnout, which is a term I invented to describe the emotional exhaustion we feel with these overscheduled, ultra-competitive lifestyles we’ve developed. I shared with you signs you might be experiencing lifestyle burnout and told you three things I do to avoid lifestyle burnout personally. This week, 7 ways you can start fixing burnout now. Because burnout is different from stress, it’s not as simple as just managing stress well. So let’s get into it.
1. Stop Burnout By Changing Your Thoughts
Often, when we’re burnt out, we have thoughts like
- Nothing I’m doing works
- I can’t do anything right
- My kids never listen
- My husband never helps out
These thoughts perpetuate the burnout because it’s hard to see the little glimmers of success…the slivers of what is going well. It’s extremely important for our brains to acknowledge the problems and the successes when we’re trying to fix burnout.
Focus here on the small wins, the partial successes. Download the PDF to see examples of how these thoughts could be changed to combat burnout.
As a side note, overcoming perfectionism is a huge part of fixing burnout…and that happens to also be a huge focus of the articles I post. So, make sure you’re following along.
2. Stop Burnout By Keeping a Journal
Instead of ruminating about things you didn’t get done, things you didn’t do well, and the negative expectations you have for how tomorrow’s gonna go….Focus the journal on the successes, the best moments of the day, the things you’re grateful for, the things you want to remember.
This strategy helps your brain get out of the rut of emotional exhaustion and anxiety and pessimism and helps it get back into the place of contentment and hopefulness. Grab my journal prompts to get started.
3. Stop Burnout By Reminding Yourself Why You’re Doing What You’re Doing
What’s causing the burnout? Is it your job? Your kids? Your family? Your spouse? All of it?
Try to channel the reasons you got into these things…why did you get into this profession? Why did you decide to have children? What value does your family bring to your life? Why did you marry your husband?
The idea here is to reconnect with your bigger purpose. When we’re burnt out, we lose track of why we’re doing what we’re doing. In those moments, all we can see are the problems and the stresses and the anxieties. Refocus on the bigger picture.
Remember, you often play a very unique role in the lives of the people you care about. As far as your children know, you wake the sun up in the morning. Recalling how meaningful your role is as a spouse, parent, sibling, etc. can reinvigorate your purpose.
4. Stop Burnout By Connecting With Similar People Who Aren’t Burnt Out
Often, burnt out people associate with other burnt out people. Misery loves company, right? But this just reinforces the pessimism and exhaustion in a sort of competitive spiral — we almost compete over who’s most burnt out and anxious. It’s silly and unhealthy.
Instead, try to associate with people who aren’t burnt out. Think: People who work with you but still love their job, people who aren’t frustrated with their children, people who have healthy marriages, etc.
Being around these people lends support to the tough moments and helps reawaken a healthier, more optimsitic, more purposeful mindset.
5. Stop Burnout By Getting Feedback About Practical Changes You Can Make
While you’re hanging out with these people who aren’t burnt out, mooch off their expertise! How are they doing what they’re doing? How do they keep from getting emotionally exhausted? What’s different about their approach versus yours? What can you take away from that to fix your own burnout?
6. Stop Burnout By Figuring Out How to Get Balance
For real. Figure it out. It’s hard, but you can do it. Balance work and life. Balance your needs and other people’s needs. And remember: Whatever the balance looks like today is gonna change in a week, so be prepared to constantly be balancing.
Notice who’s missing out because you’re out of balance…your children are missing quality time with you, your therapist hasn’t seen you in 3 years, you haven’t *really* kissed your spouse in 4 months.
You are needed in so many ways, and you want to do it all really well. To reach that goal, you’ve got to get it in balance. And when you’re successful, you’ll reduce your own burnout and give back to the people you love. Check out my previous post about striking balance here.
7. Stop Burnout By Reducing Stress
Because burnout comes from chronic stress, anything you can do to reduce stress will help burnout. Often, this is insufficient as a sole focus, so that’s why the other strategies listed above are also important. However, effective stress management can reduce burnout and prevent future burnout. So…guided breathing, meditation, bubble baths, exercise, social support, time management, coping skills, etc. Get on it. I feel your eyes rolling. Do it anyways.
Many of these strategies can be very complicated to implement in real life, so I’ll be here along the way to give you more details about how to execute them. Make sure you’re following along.
Real talk: My job was burning me out, so I took a big chance and quit my job a couple of months ago. Next week, I’m sharing with you the three things that told me it was time to resign. Maybe you’ll see similar indicators in your own situation. Don’t miss it.
-Dr. Finch
P.S. Summary for you skimmers: I outlined 7 strategies for fixing burnout. Because burnout is different than stress, fixing burnout isn’t just about managing stress better. Recently, I noticed my job was contributing to burnout, so I quit. Next week, I’m sharing with you the three things that told me it was time to resign — maybe you’ll see simialrities with your own situation. Don’t miss it.
P.P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
