10 Thoughts Only Perfectionists Have
Many of my clients come to me because they’re anxious, overwhelmed, and stressed. And no matter how much they do, they feel inadequate. Nothing they do ever feels like enough. Many of them don’t realize maladaptive perfectionism is driving the whole pattern. Have you taken my quiz to see if you’re a secret perfectionist? It can be enlightening.
The Secret to Not Feeling Overwhelmed Is Tied To Your Self-Worth
So if people are feeling overwhelmed by perfectionism, the goal isn’t to just become lazy and be happy with it. That’s obviously going too far the opposite direction. The goal is to separate our self-worth from our achievements so we continue to feel at peace even when things aren’t going perfectly.
10 Thoughts Only Perfectionists Have
Step 1 is to recognize perfectionism when it shows up. So here’s a list of 10 thoughts only perfectionists have. Do any of these sound like you?
- I can’t take a break until I clear my to-do list. (psst: if you relate to this one, check out this post)
- My house must be clean before I can leave for vacation.
- Doing well isn’t the goal. I need to do better. Better than others do and better than I ever have.
- People are going to think I’m stupid if I make a mistake.
- If I don’t do this well, people will realize I don’t really know what I’m doing.
- I need to have a well-detailed plan to avoid unexpected problems.
- People are expecting me to do this perfectly.
- Even my “best” job could be better.
- I need to check my work several times just to make sure I didn’t miss a mistake.
- If I don’t meet or exceed my standards, everything will fall apart.
How to Change the Pattern
Any of those sound like you? If they do, check out the PDF I put together that will help you start challenging these thoughts and overcoming the painful grip of maladaptive perfectionism. Remember, the goal isn’t to swing all the way to the other side…it’s to reign in the anxiety that perfectionism creates while still doing all the excellent work you’ve always done. Grab that PDF to get started.
If you related to this post, make sure you don’t miss next week’s article, where I outline signs of maladaptive perfectionism…the things that indicate that you’ve crossed that line from a “really great, healthy approach” to an “approach that’s ruining your life.” Don’t miss it.
Talk to you soon,
Dr. Finch
P.S. If you skipped to the end, I outlined 10 thoughts only perfectionists have. Identifying those thoughts is the first step toward reigning in the anxiety that perfectionism creates so we open ourselves up to a life of equally great work with less stress. Grab the PDF to start that process.
P.P.S. Remember, this is education, not treatment. Always consult with a psychologist or therapist about your mental health to determine what information and interventions are best for you. See the disclaimer for more details.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, dedicated to helping you master your mental health.
