Are you tired of feeling like it’s all too much? Like there’s just too much to get done in a 24-hour day or even a lifetime.
There are too many people needing things from you, too many chores to do, too many bills coming in, too many conflicting opinions about how to raise your kids, too many stupid arguments with the people you love, too much pressure to be skinny/pretty/smart/strong.
And that doesn’t even acknowledge all the projects YOU want to do, the dreams you have, the goals you’ve set. How can anyone possibly do it? And the pressure is coming from every direction. From our spouses, our children, our bosses, our friends, society – and especially ourselves.
“Once we change that ONE thing – what we tell ourselves we oughta be doing – that feeling that it’s all too much absolutely dissolves.”
The truth is – it is too much. There’s no way we can do all the things we’re told we oughta be doing AND find our lives to be worthwhile or meaningful.
On an individual level, there isn’t much we can do about the pressure that’s coming from society (though I’m all for participating in the movements to change this). But there are things we can do to change the pressure we’re getting from the people around us.
That’s where setting boundaries comes in. If you’re not sure what this means, you’re not alone…I’d never heard of boundaries until I was in grad school. The bottom line is that setting boundaries lets other people know how to treat you. You know I’m your girl, so I’ll explain it all to you at some point and teach you how to do it.
And most importantly, there are tons of things we can do to change the pressure we’re getting from ourselves. That’s where we have the most power and the most influence. And really, once we change that ONE thing – what we tell ourselves we oughta be doing – that feeling that it’s all too much absolutely dissolves.
Start here: What’s one thing you tell yourself that you must do…that objectively you don’t actually HAVE to do? Here are some personal examples: fold the towels that are in the dryer, straighten my hair, work on Saturdays, show up to plans with friends even if I’m not in the mood, respond to emails immediately. What about you?
Next week, I’ll give you a skill for when life gets overwhelming. Don’t miss it. It’s good.
Hayden
P.S. If you skimmed this post and skipped straight to the end, here’s the bottom line: We get a lot of pressure to do too much from all kinds of sources. What’s one thing you put pressure on yourself to do that you could actually skip?
P.P.S. Did you know I send the people in my email community helpful handouts and cheat sheets that aren’t available to anyone else? You definitely don’t want to miss it because it makes these tips so much more actionable. Get in by clicking here.
Hayden C. Finch, PhD, is a practicing psychologist in Des Moines, Iowa, focused on helping you master your mental health.
